Monday, July 30, 2012

23 Weeks

Well, I know I've been a bad blogger lately, but I've been enjoying time with my family....I'll catch up on writing about it later!

It's crazy that I'm 23 weeks.  Crazy that I can't believe how quickly I've gotten to this point, and crazy that I still have 17 weeks to go.  Four more months seems like an eternity, and I am feeling so big already that I don't know how I'm going to fit any more baby in there. 

Feeling H-U-G-E!

Anyway, M was off of work all of last week, so we had a lot of family time.  I'll have posts for all of that later this week, but for now, I'm going to take the easy way out and just do my "weekly" survey.  :-P

Weight gain/loss: I'm not sure how much I've gained in the past few weeks.  I've fallen off the wagon of weighing myself regularly, but I'm up about 15 pounds total since I found out I was pregnant.  I think I'm on about the same pace as I was with Evie.

Fruit of the week: This week baby is the size of a grapefruit. Seriously, it feels more like "bowling ball." 

Feeling: A little overwhelmed.  My sister brought her 3 month old daughter to Evie's birthday party yesterday, and I had flashbacks to caring for a newborn....and now I'll have a toddler too.  Yikes!!!

Sleep: I think my hips are shifting because they've been very sore the past week or so.  I took a tylenol before bed a couple of nights and that really helped.  I feel like I have a long way to go to start feeling like this already.

Food cravings: Scotcheroos...I'm not sure if these are a Wisconsin/midwestern thing, but if you know what they are, you know they are amazing.  It's basically peanut butter rice crispy treats covered in melted chocolate and butterscotch chips.  I should post the recipe....add that to the list of "later this week" posts. 

Maternity clothes:   Just see this post.  I pretty much feel like a whale wearing a burlap sack. 

Movement:  Still feeling a lot of it.  M is able to feel it almost every day too, which is so exciting.  I think I even felt hiccups yesterday.  Not sure if it's too early for that, but something strange was going on in there!   

Gender? Boy.  We are currently having a name battle at our house.  M and I cannot agree on boy's names.  This is going to be interesting!

What I miss?   I'm beginning to feel like I might have a problem, but I still miss alcohol.  A cold beer sounds amazing.  

Best moment this week: Evie's birthday last Tuesday!  I get more excited for her birthday than I think I ever did for my own.   

What I'm looking forward to:  Going to the State Fair on Friday.  Funnel cakes and cream puffs, here we come!!!

Next Appointment: This Wednesday, August 1st. It should be a routine weight/blood pressure/baby's heartbeat checkup.  :)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I need a clothing section called, "So, you've given up on life."

I am so over maternity clothes.  Eight weeks ago when I began wearing them, I thought that they were the most comfortable things I'd ever tried on in my life.  That was purely because I had been squeezing myself into my pre-pregnancy clothes while waiting to get all of my maternity clothes back from my sister.

For a few weeks, maternity clothes and I lived together in bliss.  I was happy to have pants without zippers or buttons, and flowy shirts that hid my bump, or tighter shirts that showed it off in a good way. 

Fast forward to now, when I think that what I really need is a clothing store/department called, "So you've given up on life."  I feel like they would have what I'm looking for: the ultimate in comfort and stretchiness, while not making me feel bad about myself.  I'm having a much harder time with my body image with this pregnancy than when I was pregnant with Evie. 
I'm stressing more about this right now because we have a big party this weekend for my parents-in-law.  I didn't plan on being pregnant in July with 90 degree heat at a party in a park where I will undoubtedly be chasing my two year old EVERYWHERE.

Oh, and add to that the fact that I feel hideous (even when I'm not sitting in a pool of my sweat with a toddler hanging off of me) and I can't decide on anything to wear.  I bought a cute new dress while I was in Spain, but it's a little big on me at this point in my pregnancy.  I'm going to attempt to rig it up with some pins to see if it will fit decently, but I'm doubtful, and to be honest, I won't have a ton of time to monkey around with it on Saturday morning.

Cute Spain dress

I also bought a new shirt in Panama, but I would need an undershirt for it because the material is a little transparent.  Did you know that it's impossible to find flesh-colored neutral maternity tank tops????  I know I could probably find something online, but I'm not much of an online shopper (I like the rush of making my purchases in a store), and the party is less than 48 hours away.

Panamanian Bargain Buy ($6!!!)

I'll probably just end up wearing the same black dress that I wore to all nice occasions when I was pregnant with Evie.  I feel like it's a tired article of clothing...basically, I'm sick of it, but I have limited time and options right now.

Black dress: cute, but I'm just not feeling it

I think the crux of the issue is that I don't feel like I look good in anything.  I just don't feel pretty right now.  I picture myself looking decent and then I look in the mirror and see a very different image.  I know it's all in my head, but I worry that I'll never feel like I look good again.  I lost the weight quickly and easily (really without trying at all) with Evie, and what if that doesn't happen this time?  What if I have a closet full of non-maternity clothes that don't look good on me either? 

In the meantime, I'm thinking of opening a boutique.  I'll sell yoga pants and hooded sweatshirts.  Hair bands and sports bras sold separately....

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

21 Weeks (and 1 day)

I'm finally back from all of my summer travels.  I'm lucky to be back too.  We almost didn't get out of Panama on Sunday morning due to a flight cancellation, but all ended up working out, and we made it back in Wisconsin....just 6 hours later than planned (around 2 a.m. Monday morning).  My students were amazing with all of the delays, but also with the trip in general.  I'm one proud Spanish teacher right now!!!

I  missed Evie (and M) like crazy.  I was very homesick towards the end of the week, and I am so happy that I am home to stay for the foreseeable future.  M said that all of my flight issues were a sign from the universe that I'm not supposed to leave the country again for a while.  He's probably right!

Oh yeah, and I'm pregnant too!  That made for a few issues on my trip, but overall, it wasn't bad.  Panama has the most humid climate I've ever had the (mis)fortune of experiencing.  I was a hot, sweaty mess the majority of the week.  However, I think that would have been the case whether I was pregnant or not. 

So, here's the 21 week bump!  Crazy that I'm over half way done!!!!

Feeling not so pretty lately....

Weight gain/loss: +2 pounds from two weeks ago.  Putting my total weight gain at +11 pounds. 

Fruit of the week: This week baby is the size of a pomegranate.  

Feeling: Happy to be home!!!!  I'm VERY tired, but I think that's just the trip catching up with me.  I was so happy that Evie took a 2 and a half hour nap yesterday so that I could take a nap too!  Normally, she sleeps for an hour and a half on a good day. 

Sleep: Better now that I'm not dripping in sweat.  I LOVE A/C!!!

Food cravings: Chocolate.  Anything chocolate.  

Movement:  I'm feeling a ton of movement.  M was able to feel the baby kick for the first time last night.  Loving it!!

Gender? BOY!!!  Here's the post in case you missed it.

What I miss?   Booze.  Seriously, it's summer.    

Best moment this week: Seeing Evie yesterday morning.  Man, I missed that kid.  

What I'm looking forward to:  M's vacation next week.  We need some time, just the three of us.  We are taking Evie to an amusement park by my parent's house, and I can't wait!!!

Next Appointment: Friday, August 3rd.  Although I might reschedule because we are also planning on going to the Wisconsin state fair that day. 

Friday, July 6, 2012

It's a.... (and other news)


Profile shot of our son
"He" was not incredibly cooperative in getting measurements, etc.,  but the fact that the tech was able to say "boy parts" (as she put it) three separate times during the ultrasound makes me feel pretty confident. I asked her before we left the room if she felt confident that it is a boy, and she said that they can't guarantee 100%, but she thinks a boy is very likely. 

So, the planning begins.  We've already taught Evie how to say "brother."  And the spare bedroom in our house, which will become the nursery, is already decorated for a boy.  (The family that we bought our house from had a little girl and a little boy.  Even before we had kids, we always referred to the rooms as either the "little girl's room" or the "little boy's room."  Ironic that we had the same gender of kids in the order that we chose to use the spare rooms!)

It's a little underwhelming to know that it's a boy, but to now have to wait another 20 weeks to meet him.  If it goes as quickly as the past 15 weeks have, hopefully it will be here before we know it.  :)

In other news, I leave tomorrow for Panama!!  I had a great idea a month ago to line up some bloggy friends to do some guest posts, but that fell through (due to my own poor planning) while I was in Spain.  I'm not sure what my internet access will be in Panama, but I will post if I can.  It's going to be a very different trip with a group of high school students, rather than a toddler.  

I know I'm going to miss Evie (and M!) like crazy, but in some ways I'm looking forward to a little me time too.  One other teacher (who is also a very good friend) is coming along, and I think we are going to have a great time.  I can't wait to see the kids explore a new culture, and see another way to live in this world.  I hope that they are able to learn a lot.  

Hopefully I'll be in touch soon!!! 

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Boy or Girl???

I love all of the old wives tales associated with determining the gender of a baby.  When I was pregnant with Evie, we did not find out the gender at our 20 week ultrasound, so we tried all of the tricks and 2/3 of them said that we were having a boy.  The Chinese gender predictor chart said that we were having a boy, and in my gut, I was sure that we were having a boy.  In my mind though, I thought I had seen the tell-tale "three white lines" (aka: it looked like lips, if you know what I mean) at the ultrasound, so a girl wasn't a huge surprise to me. 

With this pregnancy, we are finding out, and tomorrow is the big day.  We (potentially) find out if this baby is growing a peen or a vag.  Since the time to try out all of the fun old wives tales is running short, I thought I'd try a few and determine today, what will be proven by science tomorrow.

Chinese gender predictor: It depends on which month we conceived.  That's iffy, it was either the end of February or beginning of March.  If it happened in March (more likely), we are having a girl.  If it happened in February (less likely), we are having a boy.

Old Wives Tale Quiz This predicts that we have a 60% chance of having a girl and a 40% chance of having a boy.  That's not much better than 50/50....

Acne while pregnant: The tale goes that if you have more acne, you will have a girl.  My skin has been the same as always, so I guess that means boy??

Cravings: Salty cravings mean that you're having a boy, and sweets means a girl.  From this post, I think that predicts a girl. 

Previous kids: If your older child's first word was momma, you'll have a girl.  If it was "dadda," you'll have a boy.  Evie said "dadda" long before "momma," so, boy it is with this one!

Moodiness: If you are moodier than usual, you are having a girl.  That definitely means a girl for me!!!!  I have had to keep myself in check more than once this pregnancy!

Boob size: Supposedly, a larger left breast means girl, and a larger right breast means boy.  Righty has always been a little bigger, but I guess this still points to boy. 

Morning sickness: If you have little or no morning sickness, it predicts a boy.  I had some morning sickness, but not nearly as much as I had with Evie....boy???

Dreams: The tale goes that that you dream about what you will have.  I always dreamed that I was having a girl when I was pregnant with Evie.  This time, I've dreamed of having a girl 1 or 2 times, but just the other night, I had a dream that it was a boy. 

Finally, what do I think???  70% of the time, a expectant mother's intuition is right about the gender of her baby.  I'm really not sure.  I think that I'm being swayed a little by the fact that I know that M wants to have a son.  (Disclaimer: He would love any child that we had, but I know he would feel like he was missing out if he never had a son, and I think two babies are as much as our family can handle.)  I keep thinking it's a girl, but maybe I just want Evie to have a sister because I'm so close to my sisters.  I think there are too many outside influences at play here for me to make a rational decision.  (Also, that's a really good cop-out because I have no idea!)

Conclusion: I am having a hermaphrodite.   Of the wives tales I listed, four say girl, four say boy, and two are inconclusive.  In the end, whether this baby is a boy or a girl (or other), he/she will have two loving parents, an adoring big sister, and an extended family that will love the crap out of him/her.  :)

I found a great list of old wives tales here at

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Losing Myself

This is one of my biggest fears.  I feared it when I was pregnant with Evie, and I fear it even more now as I expect my second child.  How do I maintain my own identity while wrapped up in the needs of two other human beings?

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't upset when I found out I was pregnant.  Even though M and I probably would have eventually had more kids, this was very unexpected.  I don't want to sound ungrateful.  I know that there are millions of women (including my own sister) who have struggled with infertility, who would give their left arm for an unexpected pregnancy.  I'm over the shock, and I'm definitely looking forward to the new baby, but I still have doubts.

What if I can't handle two kids?  Some days (like last Friday), I feel like I can't handle the one I already have!!   There are lots of days and weeks when I feel like I don't have any time for myself.  How will I ever get any time with two children?  I resent M because I feel like he doesn't have to sacrifice as much.  Will our marriage be able to handle the addition of another child?  Evie is pretty comfortable as an only child.  How will she deal with this transition to big sister?  Will I still be able to give her enough?

On down days, these thoughts rule my mind.  We can prepare for all of this as much as we'd like, but until this baby arrives, there's no way of knowing what it will be like.  Nothing is ever exactly what you expect it will be.  I just hope that I can keep some shred of myself, and I will be recognizable on the other side.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Summer Fun!

It may seem that we've had all of the summer fun that we can handle here with our big trip and all, but we're just getting started!!  We have tons of plans this summer for when we're actually in this country.

To recap a bit: our Spain trip was amazing!!  We saw a lot of the country that I hadn't seen before, and lived with a great host family (I will not be posting their pics, as I did not ask permission).  We started in Barcelona, where we spent 3 days.

Chasing pigeons in a plaza in Barcelona
Then we moved on to Valladolid to stay with our host family.  While we were there, we took a few day trips.  We went to a city called Ávila which is a walled in city that is about 1500 years old.  We went to a city called Segovia with a 2000 year old Roman aqueduct, and we also were able to visit Santander, a beach town on the northern coast.

Skyping with M from our homestay
Our remaining summer plans are quite as exotic, but at least we'll be able to do (most) of them as a family.  Well, after I get back from Panama on the 15th that is.  I am taking a group of students to Panama for 9 days where we'll stay with Panamanian families to learn more about the language and culture there.  We will also be doing some work in a Panamanian orphanage as a service learning project.  We leave on Saturday, and as much as I'm looking forward to the trip, I'm also looking forward to coming home to stay for a while.  ;)

M is on vacation for a week and Evie's birthday is coming up!!  We plan to take her to Bay Beach amusement park in Green Bay during that week.  I went there a ton when I was a kid, and I can't wait to take Evie too!  I have such great memories of it, and it's so exciting to pass that on to her.


It's going to be a busy summer, but I'm looking forward to spending some time just the three of us before the new baby is born.  Next summer will be a whole new adventure!!

This post was written for Toddle Along Tuesday, sponsored by Growing Up Geeky.  This week's topic is Summer Fun.  
Link up and join the fun!!

Monday, July 2, 2012

19 week update

Because of our trip, it's been 4 weeks since I posted an update.  Do I look a lot different???

15 Weeks. 

19 weeks

 I swear these are different pictures...I just happened to be wearing the exact same thing.  I think that bump has grown a little in the past four weeks, but from looking at the pictures, not as much as I felt like it had.  I've been feeling H-U-G-E!!!!!  I know that I still have a long ways to go, but I wish that I had faithfully taken photos every week when I was pregnant with Evie, I think I'm much bigger this time around.

So, onto the survey!

Weight gain/loss: +3 lbs. from 4 weeks ago, putting my total weight gain at 9 lbs.  I am excited that I'm still hovering around my pre-pregnancy weight with Evie.  :)

Fruit of the week: This week baby is the size of a mango.  

Feeling: Tired.  I think that my trip is still catching up with me.  I'm also a little overwhelmed with the fact that I leave for Panama with a group of my students on Saturday.  I didn't plan on being pregnant for all of this traveling!!!! 

Sleep:  Good, but I would like more of it.  I went to bed at 8:30 last night, it wasn't even dark out.

Food cravings: Milk.  For being a Wisconsin girl, I'm not much of a milk drinker, but yesterday I think I had 4 glasses. 

Movement:  Definitely feeling a lot of it these days.  I had an anterior placenta with Evie, and I feel like it must be posterior this time with all of the movement I'm feeling.  This is by far my favorite part of pregnancy, so I'm enjoying it.

Maternity Clothing: I love everything about them, expect how the pants fall down all the time.  I've been wearing more dresses with the heat anyway, so not a huge problem.   

Gender? We are definitely finding out.  A lot of people have been saying they think I'm having a boy, but I think that's just because I already have a girl.  In Spain they call a boy/girl combination "la parejita," which means "the perfect little pair."  I think that everyone over there was just biased towards that.   

What I miss?   Having cocktails with M on summer nights.  All weekend, I just wanted to put Evie to bed and sit on the patio with a cold drink, talking to M.    

Best moment this week: Getting home.  I had the most amazing trip, but I know how much Evie missed M.  I missed him too.  It was nice to be a family all together again. 

What I'm looking forward to:  Taking my students to Panama.  As much as this is a strain on my family, it's the opportunity of a lifetime for my students.  A trip like this one when I was in high school truly changed my life.  I had never really been out of my little town before, and it opened my eyes to how big and interesting the world is.  I hope that this trip will do even half of that for my students. 

Next Appointment: The big anatomy scan this Friday, July 6th.  Yup, that means we're finding out the gender on Friday!!!