Light at the end of the tunnel

At the end of the year, I was pretty depressed.  I don't think that I was taking care of myself very well.  I was mad at M all the time.  I didn't have any patience for Evie.  I was probably not very much fun to be around.  I hid out at my parent's house for 6 days over my Christmas break. 

One of the days that I was there, Evie wouldn't take a nap for me.  I put her down (screaming) in the pack and play in the guest bedroom, and came out sobbing because I had failed as a parent.  My mom was the only other person home at the time.  She told me that it wouldn't hurt Evie to let her cry for a few minutes, and that I should just take a break.  My mom and I have always had a rocky relationship, but that day, she said what I needed to hear.

She went back to the room and managed to put Evie down for her nap without a sound (figures!), and then she sat down and talked to me.  She told me to relax, which didn't help at all.  Then she asked me, "Do you even enjoy your life anymore?"  It sounds harsh to say it like that, but I think she was right.  I didn't enjoy my life at all for the last few months of 2011.  I was just getting by, and everyone in my life was suffering because of it.  I didn't enjoy anything that I used to.  Honestly, I didn't even enjoy spending time with M or Evie. Everything I did seemed to be just another chore.

She really made me think.  I'm still thinking about it.  It's not like everything was completely better over night.  I'm still battling this day to day.  I have considered seeking professional help, but I feel like I'm beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  M has been incredibly supportive through all of this.  I've really focused on taking more time to take care of myself...I've been working out more, eating better, and trying not to feel guilty about letting M (and others who offer to help) do more. 

I don't ever want to live my life angry all the time.  I don't want to make M or Evie feel like they are not enough for me.  I hope that this dark period has passed for good. 

Our favorite books

Evie has loved books since she was about a year old.  I have always tried to read to her, but she didn't have much patience for it until she was about 11 months old.  Plus, that was about the time she could really manipulate the book by herself and it held her interest longer for that reason too. 

Evie "reading" last summer

We have a decent collection of books at home, and I am always on the lookout for more at garage sales, etc.  These are a few of our favorites.

The "Good Night Book" (as it is known at our house) is always the last one that I read to Evie before she goes to bed. 

[source]

The Belly Button Book is a new favorite.  This book cracks me up.  The last line in the book is "Bye Bye Bee-Bo" and whenever I read it, Evie waves good bye to her belly button.

[source]

 This is M's favorite to read to Evie.  If it catches me in the wrong mood, this one actually makes me a little teary-eyed. 

[source]

I just love all of the noises in Mr. Brown can Moo! Can you?  This was my first favorite to read to Evie, and I will probably be able to recite this book for the rest of my life.  

[source]

We have quite a few more that are in the rotation, but these are the ones that we probably read to her the most.  I'm not sure if that makes them Evie's favorite books or our favorite books.  In the end, I suppose it doesn't matter.  I'm just glad that she loves to "read" so much right now, and I hope that it's a lifelong passion!

We're always looking for new titles to add to our collection.  What are some of the favorites at your house??

More sick baby, and a busted-ish computer

Well, Evie is sick...again.  I received a phone call at school early Friday afternoon from my daycare provider.  She rarely calls me at school (only 3 times that I can think of in the past year), so anytime it happens my stomach immediately drops and I flip out a little inside.  Evie was incredibly lethargic and running a low grade fever.  Fortunately, M was able to leave work early and pick her up.

When I got home from work, we decided to take her to urgent care.  Her fever had gone up to 102 by that time, and the doctor looked at her ears and immediately diagnosed a left ear infection.  He said the right side wasn't looking great either, but wasn't nearly as bad as the left.  We picked up her prescription and headed home.  She slept from 8 on Friday night until 7 Saturday morning.  (I know many kids do this frequently, but our child does not!!!) 

Yesterday, the fever was gone and I could tell that she felt much better after a good night's sleep.  She was back to her usual antics.  (Climbing is her newest trick.  Yeah, that's fun.)  She really had me worried on Friday though.  I've never seen her so lethargic.  She barely moved at all, and she kept drifting in and out of sleep.  Mono has been going around at school and I was sure that she had it and the world was going to end.  (Sometimes I flip out a little.) 

Bath time tonight - Back to normal!!

I'm just glad that she seems to be feeling better.  Hopefully the amoxicillin does the trick and we have no more illnesses this winter!!!!  (Fingers crossed, knocking on something wooden.) 

P.S.  My computer is SUPER SLOW lately.  I think we may have a virus or something stupid like that.  Hopefully we'll have that taken care of soon too...I'm angling for a new computer.  ;)

Our love story

I found this questionnaire at From Mrs. to Mama by way of Country is a State of Mind.  I thought that it was a fun one, so I decided to fill it out.  You can link up with From Mrs. to Mama through today!!  Have fun!

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?

For 10 and a half years.  We met in July of 2001, and we were an official couple by the end of August!

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}

We met at a party.  I was at his college visiting some friends from high school who also went to that school.  One of my friends was dating one of his roommates, so we went to their house to hang out.  We started talking and the next thing we knew the sun was coming up...I guess we clicked from the beginning!

  

3. If married, how long have you been married? If not, is this the guy you hope to marry? {do tell}

We've been married for 6 years, since October 1, 2005.

 

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?  If not, where would you like to get married? And will it be big or small?

We were married at a state historical park in Green Bay in an old-fashioned chapel originally built in 1832.  Our reception was at a banquet hall in Green Bay.  It was an average size wedding (about 200 guests).

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!

Nope, no fun nicknames.  He usually calls me "Babe" but that's about it.  

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.

I love how he cares about our daughter.  I love how he makes me feel special.  Most importantly, I love how he always tries to make me laugh...even when I'm ragingly angry at him. 

 

7. Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal?

He proposed in our first apartment together after we graduated from college.  I got home one Friday afternoon, and he followed me around the place while I was trying to change clothes, etc.  I was wondering why he was acting so strangely.  I sat down to watch TV and he got down on one knee in front of me on the couch.  I was thoroughly confused until he pulled out the ring!!  ;)

 

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?

None of the above.  He is a "buy you a ridiculously stupid card that has nothing to do with V-day, but write a really sweet message to make up for it" kind of guy. 

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?

None of the above.  I'm a "go out for dinner and drinks" kind of girl.  

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
I'd like to spend a sunny day driving around Grant County, WI like we used to in college.   He took me down all of the back roads, and we stopped at all of the historical markers and climbed the big "M."  

World's Largest letter "M."  Near Platteville, WI - Bet you didn't know that existed...

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.

Eating a nice dinner, playing with Evie, and hanging out after she goes to bed.

 

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?

Nope, just to hang out together!  :)

 

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
 Keep trying to make each other feel special...doing special things for them.  It doesn't have to be a big gesture, but something that is sincere and comes from the heart. 

14.  Show us a picture of what love means to you.

I have a few...

Visiting Door County in August 2003...we'd been together about 2 years

Our wedding day.

The best one of all...the first time M held Evie. 

 

A new trick

Evie has a new word, "uh-oh."  It was cute when she said it when things accidentally fell, or when she fell down.  However, this morning, she took it to a whole new level.  She was sitting in the bathroom with me while I was getting ready for work.  She pulled a hairbrush off of the counter, threw it on the floor, and then yelled, "Uh oh!!" 

I told her it only works if it happens by accident, but I'm not sure she understood.  At least she hasn't figured out how to flush things down the toilet yet....