An introduction

Well, I know I've dropped offline again, but I guess that's what happens when you're the mother of two kids.  Before I get to the good stuff: I still want to write...desperately at times, but that hasn't been an option much lately, and I don't foresee it becoming any easier in the near future.  Like I wrote a year ago, writing is a passion for me, and hopefully I'll be able to come back to it soon.

Now, on to the good stuff.  ;)

Introducing: Miller!

Miller David was born on December 2, 2012 at 7:41 p.m.  He arrived 6 days late, which drove me crazy every minute that I wasn't going into labor.  We made one "false alarm" trip to the hospital during the week, and I cried a LOT because I was just so ready to be done being pregnant.

FINALLY, I was induced the morning on December 2.  My OB broke my water, but did not immediately begin pitocin.  She hoped that my labor would begin naturally since I was already 3 cm dilated.  She broke my water around 9 am, and contractions began getting more intense around 11:00, but they were never that bad.  I kept standing, walking around, swaying, anything to keep the contractions coming, because if I sat down or stopped moving, the contractions spaced out and became less intense.

Around 3:00 pm, the nurses changed shifts, and I was hoping they would check my progress, but they didn't.  I was beginning to get frustrated because I felt like nothing was really happening.  I was ready for some pitocin to move things along, but the nurse didn't mention it, and I hadn't seen my OB since she broke my water 6 hours earlier.

When the nurse came to check on us around 4:45, my frustration boiled over.  I was crying because I was just sick of all of it, and I told her that I wanted them to start the pitocin.  She told me that it was no problem, and she would check with the doctor and get it started as soon as possible.  Apparently, they had been waiting for me to ask for it the whole day.  This temporarily frustrated me more...

I just wanted to see this face

Also, they STILL hadn't checked my progress.  I will never know if I had made any progress, but I feel like my body must not understand how to go into labor on its own.  The pitocin (and craziness) began around 5:30, and contractions immediately became really strong, and really close together.  M called his mom, who was taking care of Evie, to tell her what was going on.  I laid in the bed crying while I listened to him talk to Evie, I was just so frustrated, and in pain, and I missed her so much.  And worst of all, since they STILL hadn't checked my cervix, I thought that I might be in labor for 5 - 6 more hours.

Around 6:30, I asked for the epidural.   It took about 20 - 30 minutes for the anesthesiologist to arrive and do the procedure.  My contractions were right on top of one another, and I was IN PAIN.  It was definitely more intense than when I got the epidural with Evie.  (I was about 5 - 6 cm when I got that epidural.)  I was shaking and I just felt out of control.

The anesthesiologist seemed to take forever.  He missed and had to place the catheter a 2nd time.  It was finally "in place" around 7:10 pm.  They FINALLY checked my cervix.  I was 10 cm!!  The nurse asked if I wanted to relax for a little while before I started pushing, but I said no.  I don't think the epidural was placed well at all.  I could still feel pretty much everything, but it wasn't quite as strong.  I just wanted to get the baby out!!!!!

The nurse ran into the hallway yelling for the doctor to get in there and wash her hands.  I think that the nurse thought the baby was about to fall out of me...ha ha ha!!  I began pushing and it took longer than I thought it would for my second baby.  I had heard so many stories about how it only took two pushes the second time, or two contractions.  I only pushed for 45 minutes with Evie, so I thought that that would be me too.

Evie meeting Miller for the first time

 The epidural was doing NOTHING for me at this point (at least I was sure I could feel everything).  It took about 20 minutes and 10 -12 contractions for Miller to get here.  I was yelling at M to stop touching me.  I even told the doctor to stop touching me at one point, only to find out that it was the baby crowning.  Yup, I was "that girl."  In hindsight, it's kind of funny. :)

At 7:41 pm, Miller made his appearance.  He weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces and was 21.5 inches long.  He was healthy from the beginning, which was different from Evie.  She only weighed 5 lbs. 15 oz. and she spent her 1st night in the NICU because she wasn't breathing very well and had a lot of fluid in her lungs.   I couldn't believe how big Miller was...2 1/2 lbs. bigger than Evie!! 

Holding baby brother

Over a month in, things are going pretty well.  The first week was rough.  I had a spinal headache from my {failed} epidural, and I spent an afternoon in the ER because of that.  Evie has been adjusting better since that first week too. I think I'm having a harder time than she is.  I feel like I just can't give her enough...or Miller for that matter, but that's a topic for a different post...

Hopefully I will be able to write more frequently.  I have so many things to write about, but time is the issue.  I began this post on December 31, if that gives you any idea of what I mean.  ;)  

In his Christmas jammies

To say that motherhood is bliss wouldn't be totally accurate at this point.  I am still getting to know Miller, and Evie and I are working on what the "new normal" means for us.  I can say that Miller has completed our family.  It's impossible to remember what life was like before he was born, and seeing M sitting on the couch holding Miller and reading a book to Evie melts my heart.

This is our family. 

Hand Turkeys and Playing in the Park

As I've written quite frequently in the past few weeks, I'm attempting to prepare for Evie to go from "only child" to "older child."  At this point, the transition is harder for me that it probably will be for her.  I am just worried.  I want her to be happy, and I don't want her to feel like we are not giving her the attention that she has always had from us.  However, I know that is impossible.  All of our lives are changing in a big way, and there's nothing we can do to stop it. 

I didn't know I'd feel this guilty about it all though.  I've probably been coddling Evie a bit more lately that I had in the past, and I feel like she's been more clingy that before too.  She needs me to do things that M used to do for her.  Honestly though, it hasn't bothered me.  I am happy to know that she still wants me, and as much as that might be a burden in the near future, I'm cherishing this time when I can indulge her.

For me, I feel like so  much is changing already, and the baby isn't even here yet.  My maternity leave sub started on Friday, and I'm having a hard time letting go of my kids at school.  I had a particularly rough day on with him being there, but when I got to daycare to pick up Evie, she gave me this. 

Evie's first ever "hand turkey"

My heart melted.  An older kid helped trace her hand, and then she colored it (in spectacular, two-year-old fashion).  Evie was so proud of herself!  It is now displayed on our fridge.  :)

I'm also grateful that the weather was beautiful here in Wisconsin over the weekend (highs in the 50s!), and we were able to spend time outside.  M put up the outside Christmas decorations yesterday while Evie and I did some yard work.  After her nap, we were able to go to the park for a while too.

Going down the slide

Just running around

We have no idea how much time we have left like this (two weeks at the most!).  As much as I'm excited and ready to meet this baby, I'm also enjoying every moment that I can just me and Evie. 

Prepping for #2

The countdown is on.  I'm officially less than two weeks from my due date, and physically I am VERY ready to have this baby!!!  (I'm sick of the indignity of my husband hoisting me off of the couch, among other pleasant symptoms of being 38+ weeks pregnant.)  Sleep is no relief anymore because I'm so uncomfortable, and I hate being winded from getting out of my car.  

I'm ready to meet this kid.  

Baby boy at 9 weeks

Preparing for this little one hasn't felt too much different that preparing for Evie.  There has been less stuff to buy.  We already owned the boppy, breast pump, bottles, neutral newborn clothing (we didn't know that Evie was going to be a girl until she was born), burp rags, etc, and we were fortunate that many friends and relatives gave us hand me down clothing after we found out that we were having a boy this time around.  But overall, getting a room ready was about the same and the overall pregnancy experience has been about the same.

Then there's Evie.  That's been the big difference.  I am more concerned about her than the baby at this point.  I have taken care of a newborn before, so I know what to expect with crying jags (from both of us!), sleep deprivation, sore nipples, and constipation fussiness, but I am so worried about Evie it actually makes me feel a little sick inside.

Part of it is probably guilt.  I give her my everything right now.  How can I give everything to two kids???  I know that having a younger sibling isn't going to damage her for life (my younger sisters are two of my best friends), but how will she adapt in the present?  We've been reading books about becoming a big sister and she helped decorate the nursery.  We've tried to involve her every step of the way, but I know that the baby is still very abstract to her at this point.

Evie is baby crazy right now.  She loves helping my sister with my niece.  She holds the bottle, she helps change diapers, she plays *gently* with the baby.  She loves her baby dolls.  She has to take one of them to bed with her every night and she cuddles with her and reads stories to her, but I know it won't be the same when it's a real live baby that Mommy is taking of too.

Evie and Baby

I don't want to over-think this.  "Mom guilt" is probably just getting the best of me right now.  We're all going to be fine.  I'm ready to have this baby and begin the adjustment to a family of four.  Evie will love her little brother, I just hope that it doesn't take her too long to realize that.  :)

Moms of two (or more): What did you do to ease the transition for your older child(ren)?  How did they adjust once the baby was born?

Stuff my kid says, Part 2

I wrote about Evie's talking a few months back, but this kid just keeps saying more and more stuff.  Everyday she seems to come up with something new.  It used to just be words for actions and objects, but now she is putting together complete thoughts and scenarios. 

Talking to Evie is the highlight of every day for me.  Part of it is just seeing how she learns new words and phrases (language nerd here!), but more than that, it's hearing what she thinks and how she feels.

And, oh boy, does she have opinions!!!!  And she's not shy about letting me know what they are!  She's been pretty insistent on wearing her pajamas (specifically the monkey ballerina pajamas) all.the.time.  She wants a freeze pop for breakfast every day.  She wants to go to the park at bedtime (that's just a ploy to put off bedtime...hasn't worked yet, but she keeps asking). 

Monkey ballerina pajamas...the current favorites.

Other conversations that have happened lately...

On a walk:
Me:  Evie, do you see the squirrel?
Evie: Yeah.
Me: Is it gathering nuts for the winter?
Evie: No, chicken nuggets.

Playing with her toy camera:
Evie: I take picture of my dinosaur.  Points camera at her dinosaur ride along toy.  Cheese!!
Evie: I take picture of Keeka.  Runs to take a picture of the dog laying on the couch.  Cheese!!
Evie: I take picture of toys.  Runs into her room and points camera at her toy box.  Cheese!!
Evie: I take picture of nigh-nigh.  Points camera at her crib.  Cheese!!

Playing with my purse:
Evie: I have purse.  Bye bye!!
Me: Where are you going?
Evie: I go Target.....bye!!!!!
(Like mother, like daughter.  I have a serious Target addiction....)

Eating breakfast (blueberries and yogurt...not a freeze pop):
Me: Can you please sit in your chair?  I'm going to get your breakfast ready. 
Evie: No, sheep in chair.  Buckle in.
Evie buckles her plush sheep into her booster seat, then sits in the chair next to it.
Evie:  Sheep eat too.
Looks at me and smiles. 

Eating breakfast with the sheep.

Hearing her ideas and listening to her begin to pretend and imagine is possibly the coolest thing about being a parent (so far).  I can't wait to see what she comes up with next!  :)

Names, names, names

I will save you the suspense, I can't reveal "the name" quite yet....because we don't have one picked out.  M and I are currently hashing that out.  He is going to go through out baby name book one more time to see if there is anything that we've missed.


The middle name is non-negotiable because they are both family names.  It will be either Michael or David depending on which first name we choose and which of those two middle names sounds better with it.  And "the name" may even be something that's not on this list because we really don't have much of a clue yet.

Picking a name for Evie was a breeze in comparison to this baby.  Knowing that it's a boy actually makes it more difficult.  M and I could agree on a million girl's names, but boy's names are particularly difficult for us.  We want something that is masculine (i.e. you know that it's a boy when you see it in writing...so no Taylors, Rileys, etc.), but we also want something relatively unique so that he's not one of 14 Jacksons in his 1st grade class. 

So, without further ado, in no particular order, here is our current short list of boy's names that we don't hate:

• Cade Michael
• Dillon Michael
• Miller David
• Dominic Michael
• Tyler David

Cade is actually a student's name at school.  It's not like we'd name the baby after him or anything.  I just like the way it sounds.  Plus, Cade was ranked #347 in popularity last year by the Social Security Administration, so it's not crazy, but it's not super-popular either. 

Dillon is a possibility only if it's spelled like this.  It's another one that I just like the way it sounds.  Dillon (spelled this way) was #345 last year...another plus for us!

Tyler was suggested by my sister and I've always liked it.  I like the option for Ty as a nickname too.  I'm worried that it's becoming a girl's name though.   Plus, it's very popular (#38 last year). 

Dominic is a surprise for me on this list.  I never thought that M would like it.   Now, I'm not sure if I even like it that much anymore.  At #76 on the Social Security ranking, it's a little high for my liking too.

And then there's Miller.  Miller is what Evie's name would be if she were a boy.  M and I heard it years ago (long before we even really talked about having kids) on a VH1 celebrity baby name show and we couldn't get it out of our heads.  It's still in the top 5, but we want to explore other options.  I would hazard a guess that it's probably the front-runner.  However, M works in the beer industry, and we don't want the poor kid to be called "Miller-time" his whole life.  But who knows??  Maybe he would like that!

Part of me doesn't care about the beer association though.  I've had students with pretty unusual names, and I think that they grew into those names.  I was surprised to find Miller at #925 for 2011.  It doesn't have a ranking in the top 1000 for any year prior to that.  Apparently, the name is catching on.

The hard part is that although I like all of these names (I think), I don't love any of them.  Maybe the right name is still out there and we just haven't hear it yet.

Also, I know that by putting this out on the interwebz, I'm inviting opinions.  I'm happy to hear them!  I don't think that M or I could be too swayed from our own opinions about the name of our child.  :)  So, if you hate it, let me know.  And if you love it, let me know about that too!!

Happy Birthday Evie! - A letter for your 2nd birthday

Dear Evie, mi hijita,

It's hard for me to believe that a year ago, you couldn't walk, you didn't talk much, your hair looked so short, you were still such a baby in so many ways.

Evie with my mom on her first birthday

Now, you are a toddler to the core.  You don't just walk, you run, you climb, you do somersaults while watching Olympic gymnastics...  And boy, do you talk.  You've inherited that trait from both of your parents, although we'll both blame the other if asked.

One of my favorite pics from the past year...telling the world what she thinks

You've even become a little world traveler.  I'm so proud of how you adapted to a different way of life, and a new language.  You made me so proud, and I hope that my travel bug wears off on you a little bit.  I'm going to need someone to go with me on my world adventures, and your dad has never been interested. 

Chasing some pigeons in a plaza in Barcelona

With me, overlooking Barcelona from El Parque Guell

The past year has been easier than the first in some ways, and more difficult in others.  Asserting your independence is part of growing up, and, as your mom, I am going to struggle with that at times.  But I wouldn't trade a single temper tantrum for the ability to have a conversation with you, or to hold your hand walking into the grocery store.

"Talking" on the phone.  Around Halloween last year

You amaze me every day.  I think that I couldn't love you more, but then you imitate how your dad puts on deodorant, or how I talk on the phone, and I melt all over again.  Each moment is something new and exciting and I am honored and thrilled to share it all with you.

Evie at her 2nd birthday party.
She picked put the Brewer cake...I was pushing for a big 2 with zoo animals.

The next year is going to bring some big changes.  You'll be a big sister soon, and I'm going to need your help every step of the way.  I worry all the time about how you'll handle this, but you never cease to surprise me.  I know you'll charge into the role, like you do with everything else, and you'll be fine.  ;)

I love you completely, and that will NEVER change.  

Love,
Mama

I need a clothing section called, "So, you've given up on life."

I am so over maternity clothes.  Eight weeks ago when I began wearing them, I thought that they were the most comfortable things I'd ever tried on in my life.  That was purely because I had been squeezing myself into my pre-pregnancy clothes while waiting to get all of my maternity clothes back from my sister.

For a few weeks, maternity clothes and I lived together in bliss.  I was happy to have pants without zippers or buttons, and flowy shirts that hid my bump, or tighter shirts that showed it off in a good way. 

Fast forward to now, when I think that what I really need is a clothing store/department called, "So you've given up on life."  I feel like they would have what I'm looking for: the ultimate in comfort and stretchiness, while not making me feel bad about myself.  I'm having a much harder time with my body image with this pregnancy than when I was pregnant with Evie. 
I'm stressing more about this right now because we have a big party this weekend for my parents-in-law.  I didn't plan on being pregnant in July with 90 degree heat at a party in a park where I will undoubtedly be chasing my two year old EVERYWHERE.

Oh, and add to that the fact that I feel hideous (even when I'm not sitting in a pool of my sweat with a toddler hanging off of me) and I can't decide on anything to wear.  I bought a cute new dress while I was in Spain, but it's a little big on me at this point in my pregnancy.  I'm going to attempt to rig it up with some pins to see if it will fit decently, but I'm doubtful, and to be honest, I won't have a ton of time to monkey around with it on Saturday morning.

Cute Spain dress

I also bought a new shirt in Panama, but I would need an undershirt for it because the material is a little transparent.  Did you know that it's impossible to find flesh-colored neutral maternity tank tops????  I know I could probably find something online, but I'm not much of an online shopper (I like the rush of making my purchases in a store), and the party is less than 48 hours away.

Panamanian Bargain Buy ($6!!!)

I'll probably just end up wearing the same black dress that I wore to all nice occasions when I was pregnant with Evie.  I feel like it's a tired article of clothing...basically, I'm sick of it, but I have limited time and options right now.

Black dress: cute, but I'm just not feeling it

I think the crux of the issue is that I don't feel like I look good in anything.  I just don't feel pretty right now.  I picture myself looking decent and then I look in the mirror and see a very different image.  I know it's all in my head, but I worry that I'll never feel like I look good again.  I lost the weight quickly and easily (really without trying at all) with Evie, and what if that doesn't happen this time?  What if I have a closet full of non-maternity clothes that don't look good on me either? 

In the meantime, I'm thinking of opening a boutique.  I'll sell yoga pants and hooded sweatshirts.  Hair bands and sports bras sold separately....

Losing Myself

This is one of my biggest fears.  I feared it when I was pregnant with Evie, and I fear it even more now as I expect my second child.  How do I maintain my own identity while wrapped up in the needs of two other human beings?

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't upset when I found out I was pregnant.  Even though M and I probably would have eventually had more kids, this was very unexpected.  I don't want to sound ungrateful.  I know that there are millions of women (including my own sister) who have struggled with infertility, who would give their left arm for an unexpected pregnancy.  I'm over the shock, and I'm definitely looking forward to the new baby, but I still have doubts.

What if I can't handle two kids?  Some days (like last Friday), I feel like I can't handle the one I already have!!   There are lots of days and weeks when I feel like I don't have any time for myself.  How will I ever get any time with two children?  I resent M because I feel like he doesn't have to sacrifice as much.  Will our marriage be able to handle the addition of another child?  Evie is pretty comfortable as an only child.  How will she deal with this transition to big sister?  Will I still be able to give her enough?

On down days, these thoughts rule my mind.  We can prepare for all of this as much as we'd like, but until this baby arrives, there's no way of knowing what it will be like.  Nothing is ever exactly what you expect it will be.  I just hope that I can keep some shred of myself, and I will be recognizable on the other side.

Asking the interwebz for some help

I had a cute post all planned for today.  After being gone for 2 and a half weeks, I was all ready to tell you about how amazing our trip was, and show you pictures of all of the cool things we saw and did...and then I tried to go grocery shopping this morning. 

I'm afraid that Evie has officially entered the "terribles twos."  The tantrums have been manageable, and mostly in the privacy of our own home until recently.  Also, until recently, they haven't been violent towards anyone.  She has hit me a few times in the past couple of months, and we took it very seriously.  We created a timeout space, and put her there whenever she was violent (mostly hitting, biting a little bit).  It was relatively few and far between, I think we put her on timeout a total of 3 - 4 times between April and June 10th.

However, while we were gone on our trip, the episodes of violence grew exponentially.  She had a violent outburst like this about every other day.  I chalked it up to being in a strange place, away from her father, etc.  I disciplined her as much as I could, but these incidents often occurred in public, which means no timeout space, and the whole world is watching (read: judging) how you react.  Being in a different culture, where I'm unsure of the social norms for disciplining your child in public made it even more difficult. 

I was hoping that it would be better when we got home, but this morning at the grocery store, she bit my hand so hard that she left a bruise.  She was upset that I strapped her into the shopping cart.  Fortunately, I hadn't really started my shopping yet.  I immediately carried her out of the store.  We went to the car in the parking lot, where I attempted to explain to her that she hurt me and that biting is wrong.  I say "attempted" because I felt like she got her way in the end: she didn't have to ride in the shopping cart.  I feel completely defeated.  In her mind, biting equaled getting her way. 

So, that's where my plea for advice comes in.  Does your toddler have outbursts in public?  How have you handled it?  We need to act immediately.  She needs to learn that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, and biting/hitting are not the appropriate reactions. 

Please tell me about your system for dealing with tantrums in public.  I'd love to hear any suggestions that anyone can give me.  I promise a cute post from our trip over the weekend....  :)

Better Late Than Never - A Mother's Day Post

So, I know Mother's Day was weeks ago, but my blogging has been sporadic at best lately, so this is when my Mother's Day post is going to happen.  At least it's still May, right??

My Mother's Day present from Evie

Our Mother's Day was a great family day this year.  We live too far away to conveniently visit either of our moms on Mother's Day, so it's kind of nice to just spend it the three of us.

Evie made me (with the help of daycare) the hand print flower in the picture above.  I cried when I opened it.  It's the first thing that she's ever made for me.  The pink hand print on the left is smudged because she was wiggly, but that's what makes it hers. 

For the day, M, Evie, and I went to a Brewer game.  Another loss....I've been to 3 games this year, and they've all been losses.  Well, the whole season has pretty much been that way, so I guess that's what I should expect. 

M and I are not too big on holidays.  We've never given each other extravagant gifts or made grand gestures.  In some ways, I wish that Mother's Day was a bigger deal, but that's not our style.  In the end, a Brewer game and hand-made gift are just right for us.  :)

P.S.  If you like what you've read, send a vote my way!  :)

The Perks of Baby #2

Over the long weekend, I was able to spend a lot of time with my sister and my new niece.  My sister and I talk pretty much every day (often twice a day), so I know how everything has been going.  Our conversations have changed so much in the past 6 weeks.  She asks me about my experiences when Evie was Natalie's age, but I have a hard time giving her advice.  She will find her own way, and I don't want to pressure her or lead her away from what feels right.  It just takes time to learn your own maternal instinct. 

Of course, I keep thinking ahead.  I will know so much more when this baby is born in November than I knew when Evie was born.  More than anything else, I will be more confident in my own abilities as a mom.  :)

I was feeling so good about my now experienced outlook on motherhood that, a few weeks ago, I made a mental list of all of the things that are better with a second pregnancy.  

• I know that our current babysitter will be more than happy to take on our new little one.  It's such a relief to not have to think about looking for a new provider.  That's a whole lot of stress that I won't have.
• I've done the pregnancy thing before.  I am not worried about losing the baby every second.  The "is this normal?" questions are a lot fewer and farther between...actually I don't know if that's even crossed my mind at all.  
• I have given birth before.  I know that this is a tricky one, because many things could go wrong that didn't go wrong with Evie.  Evie's birth was an overall awesome experience.  I'm seeing the same OB, and going to the same hospital (it's been remodeled since Evie was born and now there are nicer post-partum rooms!!), so I'm hoping for the same luck.  
• I'm not afraid of maternity clothes.  I now know comfort is the key.  Who cares if I'm in maternity clothes before 22 weeks??  "OMG, I must be a cow."  <-- Yes, I really thought that when I was pregnant with Evie.  I think I just have other things to worry about now.  (By the way, those people still make me want to barf a little.)

The best part is knowing that absolutely nothing will go as I expect, but being ok with it this time.  When I was pregnant with Evie and I dreamed of what she would be like, I was way off.  She is more energetic, rambunctious, outgoing, friendly, adorable, sassy, and amazing than I ever could have imagined.  This child will be too.  And I get to experience it all over again.

P.S.  If you like what you've read, send a couple of votes my way!  :)

Toddle Along Tuesday: Favorite Firsts

There are so many things that I looked forward to when I was pregnant with Evie.  I remember dreaming about what it would be like to hold her, and to see her for the first time.  Every milestone it amazing to me because, as Evie's parents, M and I are the only ones who will truly be there for it all. 

Some of the things that I looked forward to most were:

First laughs. 

Evie around 4 months old.

Evie has the greatest laugh.  (I know I'm totally biased.)  It's a crazy belly laugh that is so genuine and contagious.  She laughed for the first time around 4 months old.  I went back to work around that time, but I was so glad that I was still there to witness her first giggles.

Consistently sleeping through the night.

After one of the first times she slept through the night

Evie did not sleep through the night until she was 6 months old.  She did it one night, and then she didn't do it again until she was 9 months old.  Then she didn't do it again until she was 11 months old.   After that she was pretty consistent, and she still is.  Getting more than 3 - 4 hours of a sleep in a row at that time seemed like the most amazing thing that could ever happen!! 

Crawling for the first time.

Evie was a late crawler; she was almost a year old before she finally figured it out.  I think I looked forward to this so much because I felt so much pressure about it.  I wanted to say to everyone, "See, I knew she could do it!!" She walked around 13 months, and now she just runs everywhere.  Some days I miss immobility.  ;)

The best things about firsts is that there are still so many to come.  Now, I daydream about seeing Evie become a big sister, her first day of kindergarten, going to her first school dance, and even her graduation.  I can't wait to see the person that she turns out to be. 


I'm so excited to have the opportunity to co-host this week's Toddle Along Tuesday with Missie from Growing up Geeky!! 





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This week's Toddle Along Tuesday topic is favorite firsts! What milestone was the most precious for you? Sitting up, talking, walking, maybe a 1st birthday party, or something else? Feel free to gush and/or reminisce. There are no rules here, except that you link up a relevant post (old or new) rather than your whole blog.

Eating Issues

Evie has always been a pretty good eater.  She is no pickier than the average toddler, but lately mealtimes have been a BATTLE!!!  She won't sit in her high chair.  She won't eat anything I put in front of her.  But she will run for the cupboard that the graham crackers are in as soon as I am done cleaning up whatever meal she hasn't eaten.

One of Evie's first meals in her high chair

Today, she didn't eat a single "real" meal.  She ate half a yogurt cup for breakfast (she usually finishes the whole cup), ate most of a fruit and veggie pouch for lunch (they are only 3.5 oz of baby food style fruits and veggies), and for dinner she ate two graham crackers because I gave up and just let her have them.  Her weight is fine, so I'm not worried about her health (at this point), but I'm more frustrated by the fact that she throws a fit every time I try to put her in her high chair.  Even bribing her with her beloved yogurt bites doesn't do the trick anymore.  When she actually wants to eat, she wants to sit in my lap to do it.

It's bad at home, but it's even worse when we go out to eat.  M and I have always enjoyed going out for dinner on the weekends.  (Seriously, who wants to cook on the weekends?!?!)  Having a child didn't really slow us down.  Evie has always been pretty good at restaurants, and we usually stick with places that are kid friendly.  (Buffalo Wild Wings is our favorite - it's loud and there are lots of distractions...and really good wings!!)  Since Evie has wanted to sit on my lap to eat, we have to eat in shifts.  M hurries to finish his meal.  By the time he is done, Evie is sick of sitting at the table, so I eat by myself while he wanders around the restaurant trying to entertain her.

I think times are a-changing.  We are going to try a booster seat at home to see if that novelty will get her back in the habit of eating in her own chair and not in my lap.  M and I had a talk yesterday about the fact that we may not be able to go out to eat as much for the next few months.  :(  I suppose we'll save some money...or just start ordering take out, lol.  I know that it's just a phase, but it's sure a frustrating one!!!

I'd love to hear some suggestions!!  Have you had any similar issues with your child?  How did you get through it?

My niece is here!

My sister delivered a healthy baby girl last night at 9:04.  Natalie Mae weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and is 20 inches long.  Mom and baby are both doing very well.  The baby is precious!!  She has chubby little cheeks and looks like my brother-in-law.  My sister's labor was overall pretty easy.  She didn't make much progress at first considering that she had been 3 cm for the past few weeks.  But she went from 6 cm to delivering a baby in 2 and a half hours, so the end was quick.  Total, she was in labor for about 13 hours.

I was able to sneak up to the hospital for about 20 minutes before my doctor's appointment this morning.  (More to come on that tomorrow!)  After school, M and Evie met me at the hospital again so that Evie could meet her new cousin.  She was very interested in the baby.  She thought it was cool to touch her hand and give her a kiss.  After she touched her, she would stand back and say, "oooooohhhh!!!" and make this adorable excited/surprised face.  It was awesome to see her interact with a baby like that.  It was an interesting preview to what we will see in November.  :)

I could not be happier for my sister and her husband.  This baby was about 18 months in the making, and that was even before conception.  As an outsider, seeing their struggles in trying to conceive broke my heart.  She lost faith so many times.  Some days I think she hated me for being optimistic, but I couldn't ever lose hope that someday she would be a mom.  Last night, their dreams and all of my prayers for them came true.

Stuff my kid says

Evie is talking more and more lately.  As a language teacher, it amazes me to watch how she learns each new word and the order in which she learns them, what is important for her to communicate and how she expresses herself.  She can tell me what she wants and what she doesn't want (not that she gets her way, but she can tell me nonetheless!).  With all of the new communication, her little personality is exploding.

"Listen up! I've got important things to say!!"

Some of my favorite things that Evie has said:

• "Ava, Kloe, fun!" In response to M asking how her day was.  (Ava and Kloe are two other little girls at daycare.)
• Yes and No...sometimes indiscriminately.  When we went to the doctor's office last week, she said yes when the doctor asked if she had chocolate ice cream for breakfast.  Then she said yes when he asked if she had cereal for breakfast.  She also said yes when he asked if she had yogurt for breakfast.  (Only the yogurt was actually true, lol!)
• Eye, ear, nose, and toes. - She can be a little violent with this one.  She jabbed me in the eye the other day trying to show me that she knew where my eye was.  
• Cow, sheep, cat, dog, horse, duck...  She loves to point them out in books or on TV.  However, she thinks they all say, "moo."  I guess we'll have to keep working on that.
• Last weekend she pointed at my sister's LARGE pregnant belly (she's due the 24th) and said, "ball."  My sister was less than impressed, but I thought it was pretty funny.  :)

I can't wait to see how she does in Spain.  I speak Spanish with her when it's just the two of us at home.  She usually understands me, but she hasn't said many words in Spanish.  Just "pato" (duck) and "hija" (daughter...which I always call her). 

Seeing her learn to talk in the most exciting thing I've ever experienced!

Family, etc.

I grew up very close to my mom's extended family.  My mom has 3 sisters and 1 brother, and they all still live on the same street as each other.  My grandparents live there too.  My parents even live in the house where my mom grew up; they bought it from my grandparents when I was 10.

My mom has always been close to all of her siblings, and they were always around, so their kids were too.  Some of my cousins are more like siblings than cousins to me.  I feel fortunate that I have such a great extended family, and I could as easily call my aunts for advice as I could call my own mom.

Even though I had this great example of sibling closeness, I knew that I wasn't going to stick around the town where I grew up.  Once I graduated high school, I was OUTTA THERE!!  I went to college in the "big city" (Madison) a few hours away, and I've stayed in this area ever since.  I had the typical small town teen angst, and I didn't realize at the time that I had a pretty cool, unique experience. 

At this point in my life, I don't see myself ever moving back.  I am very happy with my life here.  This is where I'm meant to be.  Sometimes it makes me sad though.  Evie will never live down the street from her cousins.  She won't have pajama pizza parties at her aunt's house or go to swimming lessons jammed in the backseat of the car with 5 other kids.  (That's right...two kids to a seat belt!  You'd probably be arrested for doing that nowadays!  Lol!!)  She won't know what it's like to be annoyed by more people than just her siblings, or to have her aunt meddling in her business.  (That was totally warranted too...I was a mischievous teenager for a while...)

One of my sisters and her husband moved to a town about 15 minutes from our house last summer.  I was so excited to have family close by again, but her husband recently took another job closer to my parents, and she will be moving there once the school year is done.  (She is also a teacher...and she's also the pregnant one.)  It's their choice and I'm understand why they want to be closer to our extended family with a baby on the way, but some days I can't get over how much it hurts that she's moving away from me again. 

I just want Evie to know that she has the big extended network of people who love her, the way that I always knew that I did (even when I hated that I did).  They are still there, just a 3 hour car trip away.  Maybe I need to tell myself that, as much as I need her to know that too. 

My Baby's Baby

There's a new baby in my house, but good thing, it's just a toy.  Evie received a baby doll for Christmas from a little friend at daycare.  I was amazed at how quickly she took to "taking care" of her baby. 

Giving Baby a hug.

Baby does not have a name; we just call her "Baby."  (It makes me feel very "Dirty Dancing."  M and I joke about not putting Baby in a corner.  It's tons of fun.)  Evie loves to hug, kiss, and feed Baby.  She also reads books to her in our rocking chair. 

I was actually a little hesitant about the doll at first.  I've tried to limit the amount of princess-y pink things that Evie has.  I honestly don't really know why.  I was never a super girly-girl, and I just want Evie to play with whatever she wants to play with, not be bound to playing with Barbies and (God forbid) Bratz dolls just because she's a girl.  Then I saw how much she genuinely loves this doll.  I guess that's what she wants to play with.  :)

Evie putting Baby in the stroller. She always buckles her in.  Safety first!

M's parents gave Evie a doll stroller when they found out how much she loves Baby.  It's so cute to watch her strap baby into the stroller and cruise around the basement with her.  She also likes to take her grocery shopping. 

Shopping sans Baby, but Baby often goes with her.

I just love seeing Evie's imagination beginning to come to life.  I guess if a doll has helped that, maybe they aren't all bad.  :)

P.S.  I apologize again for the terrible picture quality.  Our camera in on the fritz, and my phone camera is ok, but not great.  Oh, and I am a terrible photographer.  I promise I'll get better soon. 

Something I said I would NEVER do as a parent

Okay, well, it's not that big of a deal.  My title may have been a little dramatic, but it is one of the few  parenting opinions I had before becoming a parent.

I swore to myself that I would NEVER take my child into one of those play place things at the mall.  I walked past them in disgust: the yelling, the crying, the screaming, the kids wiping their noses with their hands and then touching everything. in. sight.  Nothing about the play place seemed like a good idea.  

Then, just a few short years later, I became the parent of a toddler.   Now I know why parents love these things - because kids love these things.  I'm over the yelling, crying, and screaming; that just comes with raising a toddler.  They will do that at the play place in the mall or at home or wherever they are.  The noise distributes better at the mall. :)

As far as the germs, I'm kind of over that too.  Toddlers are kind of gross sometimes.  I clean her up as best as I can, and always wash/sanitize hands when leaving the play place.

Climbing on some giant dominoes.

Am I letting my former self down??  Maybe, but I don't really care.  Evie loves the opportunity to run around, climb on things, and play with other kids.  She is so excited about it that I get excited too.  Plus, it's so much fun to see her interacting with the other kids. 

Crawling through a tunnel to greet my sister on the other side.

The weather is turning spring-like, even here in Wisconsin, and we'll be going to the park a lot more in the coming months, but the mall playland helped us through the winter when the park wasn't an option.  I have learned my lesson, and I'll never say never again.

What have you said you'd NEVER do as a parent??

Light at the end of the tunnel

At the end of the year, I was pretty depressed.  I don't think that I was taking care of myself very well.  I was mad at M all the time.  I didn't have any patience for Evie.  I was probably not very much fun to be around.  I hid out at my parent's house for 6 days over my Christmas break. 

One of the days that I was there, Evie wouldn't take a nap for me.  I put her down (screaming) in the pack and play in the guest bedroom, and came out sobbing because I had failed as a parent.  My mom was the only other person home at the time.  She told me that it wouldn't hurt Evie to let her cry for a few minutes, and that I should just take a break.  My mom and I have always had a rocky relationship, but that day, she said what I needed to hear.

She went back to the room and managed to put Evie down for her nap without a sound (figures!), and then she sat down and talked to me.  She told me to relax, which didn't help at all.  Then she asked me, "Do you even enjoy your life anymore?"  It sounds harsh to say it like that, but I think she was right.  I didn't enjoy my life at all for the last few months of 2011.  I was just getting by, and everyone in my life was suffering because of it.  I didn't enjoy anything that I used to.  Honestly, I didn't even enjoy spending time with M or Evie. Everything I did seemed to be just another chore.

She really made me think.  I'm still thinking about it.  It's not like everything was completely better over night.  I'm still battling this day to day.  I have considered seeking professional help, but I feel like I'm beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  M has been incredibly supportive through all of this.  I've really focused on taking more time to take care of myself...I've been working out more, eating better, and trying not to feel guilty about letting M (and others who offer to help) do more. 

I don't ever want to live my life angry all the time.  I don't want to make M or Evie feel like they are not enough for me.  I hope that this dark period has passed for good. 

More sick baby, and a busted-ish computer

Well, Evie is sick...again.  I received a phone call at school early Friday afternoon from my daycare provider.  She rarely calls me at school (only 3 times that I can think of in the past year), so anytime it happens my stomach immediately drops and I flip out a little inside.  Evie was incredibly lethargic and running a low grade fever.  Fortunately, M was able to leave work early and pick her up.

When I got home from work, we decided to take her to urgent care.  Her fever had gone up to 102 by that time, and the doctor looked at her ears and immediately diagnosed a left ear infection.  He said the right side wasn't looking great either, but wasn't nearly as bad as the left.  We picked up her prescription and headed home.  She slept from 8 on Friday night until 7 Saturday morning.  (I know many kids do this frequently, but our child does not!!!) 

Yesterday, the fever was gone and I could tell that she felt much better after a good night's sleep.  She was back to her usual antics.  (Climbing is her newest trick.  Yeah, that's fun.)  She really had me worried on Friday though.  I've never seen her so lethargic.  She barely moved at all, and she kept drifting in and out of sleep.  Mono has been going around at school and I was sure that she had it and the world was going to end.  (Sometimes I flip out a little.) 

Bath time tonight - Back to normal!!

I'm just glad that she seems to be feeling better.  Hopefully the amoxicillin does the trick and we have no more illnesses this winter!!!!  (Fingers crossed, knocking on something wooden.) 

P.S.  My computer is SUPER SLOW lately.  I think we may have a virus or something stupid like that.  Hopefully we'll have that taken care of soon too...I'm angling for a new computer.  ;)