The Gender Guessing Game

When I was pregnant with Evie, we decided not to find out the gender of the baby.  I had always wanted it to be surprise when the baby was born.  Hearing M tell me that we had a daughter was one the coolest experiences of my life; I wouldn't change it for the world.

Because we didn't know, I constantly wondered, "Boy or girl???"  I read all of the old wives tales.  I even went so far as to test them on my sister-in-law, who knew she was having a boy, so that I could see if they actually worked.  (Some did, but they also said I was having a boy...Evie is definitely a girl.) 

Most of the time that I was pregnant, I thought I was having a boy.  That's what my instinct told me, but in reality I think I was hoping for a boy.  I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person, let me finish explaining...  Having a daughter scared the crap out of me for several reasons, including:

• Middle school
• Princess stuff
• Girl body image problems - I've had enough of my own, I don't want to see my daughter go through it too
• Self image in general
• The color pink
• How girls treat other girls
• How boys treat girls
• Barbie, or even worse, Bratz
• Snotty teenage girls

The list could go on and on.  I also worried about how M would react to having a daughter.  He is from a very male-dominant family.  He has one sister who is much younger than him, and she was always coddled and treated so differently because she's a girl.  I feared that he would feel that our daughter couldn't do certain things "because she's a girl." 

After she was born, most of my apprehension went away.  I'll be scared of being the mom of a middle school girl forever.  I teach  middle school.  I know how horribly mean they are to each other, and to pretty much everyone around them.   But I realize now that we all go through it, and we all survive.  All I can do is be there for her through it all.

I feel like I've turned completely 180 degrees.  Now, I am concerned that if I have a son, I wouldn't be able to have the same bond with him.  I only have sisters, so I've never seen the mother/son bond in action from that point of view.  I know that Evie and I will have rough patches, all mothers and daughters do.  I will do my best to help her make it through the times when it's tough being a girl.