I have never been the type of person who could just enjoy the present. I have always thought, "I can't wait until _____." Or, "It used to be so much better when ________."
I hate to admit it, but I've caught myself doing the same thing with Evie on many occasions. When she was a newborn/very, very little, I would catch myself thinking, "it will be better when she doesn't cry all the time." "It will be better when she sleeps through the night." Etc, etc, etc. I was jealous of moms whose babies were 6, 8, 10 months old. I figured they didn't have to worry about all of the stuff that I was worrying about.
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| Evie at 4 months. How could I have ever wished she would just get older?!?!?! |
Of course, when Evie reached those ages I realized that those moms just had other things to worry about. Now, Evie is going on 16 months, and I find myself looking at the little babies who aren't running away, attempting to pull everything off of store shelves, and throwing tantrums and I'm
still jealous of the 6/8/10 month old mommies. Only now, it's in hindsight and I'm wondering where that time went. (Ok, she's not that bad, but some days....)
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| 9 months old. She still puts her socks in her mouth like that. :) |
Sometimes the "wishing for the future" is really just wondering what it will be like. I look out of my classroom window and see all of the elementary school kids on the playground at recess and wonder what Evie will be like when she's that age. I stop and I smile thinking of her as sassy 3rd grader playing on the swings with her friends. I beam as I picture her playing jump rope in her snow suit.
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| Earlier this week. |
I wish that I was better at fully immersing myself in the moment. As much as the tantrums (which are growing in intensity and frequency these day) are frustrating, Evie will only be this age once. I love her at this age, and I love all of the things we can do now that seemed like a dream only 6 months ago. We're teaching her new words, and watching her walk all over the house. She hugs us back, and blows us kisses. Right now is what it's really all about. Every day truly is amazing.
2 comments:
I could have written this exactly! You nailed it when you said "wishing for the future" was just wondering what it would be like. I am so excited for Leila's life that I just want to know how it will be...now ;)
"Right now is what it's really all about" - Love this. I try to tell myself that I'm in no rush for Arianna to grow up but then I catch myself saying, "Oh man, I can't wait till she starts talking or having this kind of imagination". Then I think about it and I'm like, "She use to be my little 6 pound baby!"
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