Thursday, November 3, 2011

Am I just expecting too much?

Like most working moms, I feel an immense amount of guilt about leaving my daughter at daycare each day.  I bring Evie to a woman's house (we'll call her "Mary Poppins") each day.  While she is there, there are also two other kids full time (a girl who is almost 2 and a boy is almost 3). There is a little boy who is 3 1/2 who is in preschool some days and at Mary's house the other days, and another little girl who just turned 5 who is only there half days after 4K.  Evie LOVES being around the other kids.  Many of them are the children of other teachers that I work with, which is nice too. 

Ms. Poppins is very caring and loving with all of the kids, but I never know how feel about some of the things that she says.  I just can't read her, and it makes me wonder about what is going on all day with all of those kids.  I wonder if they watch too much TV (I know Nick Jr is on most of the day).  I wonder if Evie was in the Exersaucer too much and that's why she didn't crawl until she was over 11 months old.  I wonder if Mary is giving her enough love and attention. 

Do all mothers feel this way about  leaving their child in someone else's care?  Do I just expect too much?

Some days when I pick up Evie, little things confirm that icky feeling in my stomach too.  Last week Tuesday Evie had a little scratch under her eye.  I didn't even notice it, but Mary mentioned that she had had a boo boo earlier in the day.  Because she brought it up, I asked what happened.  (Very nonchalantly, I honestly didn't mean to be fall down and get bumps and bruises, especially kids like Evie that are mastering the art of walking.)  Her response caught me off guard.  She said, "I don't know."   There was no elaboration at all, just an awkward pause before I said, "Oh, well kids get bumps and bruises.  No biggie." 

Many people probably would just switch daycares if they felt even slightly uneasy, but there are several reasons that I stay with her.  The biggest reason is that Evie always seems happy to go to Mary's house.  She is so excited to see Mary and the other kids that she practically falls out of my arms on the way into the house each morning.  If Mary was really doing a bad job, she wouldn't be that happy, right?

I know that Evie is not in any danger.  I know that Mary is a very capable caregiver.  I know how much Evie loves the other kids there.  I think (like M said at the beginning of the school year) I just won't be happy unless I'm the one taking care of her all day.

Only 7 more months until summer...

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1 comment:

Victoria said...

My little guy gets bumps and scratches all the time and I'm home with him. There are days where I just can't explain how he got them. I'm sure when he goes to daycare I'll be uneasy about things, but it's what happens when you have to trust other people to look after the most important person.

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