Friday, September 9, 2011

Relationships Post-Baby

I knew that having a baby would change me.  I knew that having a baby would change my relationships with other people.  I don't think I was fully prepared for the negative effect that having a baby would have on my relationships.   

In that past few months I've been pretty down about the changes in some of my friendships, especially a close friend from high school, who was also one of my roommates in college.  Long story short: she got married in Mexico in May.  Between it being the end of the school year, having a 10 month old, and the cost of the trip, I wasn't able to attend the wedding.  Our friendship has basically ended over it. 

A few members of my family have even expressed how difficult it can be to get in touch with me, find time to hang out, or really just talk to ME.  They mean the old, childless me that drove 5 hours to visit at the drop of a hat.  The old, childless me that stayed out all night.  The old, childless me that wasn't worried about feeding the baby, keeping the baby happy, putting the baby to bed, and on and on.

None of the aforementioned people have kids, but I am very close to all of them.  Have I really changed that much?  Why can't they see that I'm doing the best that I can??  Or am I missing something?

It's not all bad.  My relationship with M is stronger than it's ever been.  I'm closer to mother-in-law than I ever thought I could be too.   A friend that I lost touch with has come back into my life because of Evie.  I just wish that those other people wouldn't take it personally that I'm not who I used to be. 

Maybe I'm just whining.  Maybe I'm not as good of a friend as I could be.  I guess I'll try to work on that too.

1 comment:

basebell6 said...

sometimes i just sit back and say "it's them and not me" because often it is. i drove my baby FOUR FRICKIN hours in the car to see a friend who is moving across the country. [and ya know she couldnt find the time to come see me / her parents back in her hometown]. when i get there she calls a mutal friend and says, "oh tell christy i wont be able to meet up today; something came up". never did see her. and she never did email me to appologize. now that is a bad friend. you arent a bad friend you just have a kid.

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