I knew that having a baby would change me. I knew that having a baby would change my relationships with other people. I don't think I was fully prepared for the negative effect that having a baby would have on my relationships.
In that past few months I've been pretty down about the changes in some of my friendships, especially a close friend from high school, who was also one of my roommates in college. Long story short: she got married in Mexico in May. Between it being the end of the school year, having a 10 month old, and the cost of the trip, I wasn't able to attend the wedding. Our friendship has basically ended over it.
A few members of my family have even expressed how difficult it can be to get in touch with me, find time to hang out, or really just talk to ME. They mean the old, childless me that drove 5 hours to visit at the drop of a hat. The old, childless me that stayed out all night. The old, childless me that wasn't worried about feeding the baby, keeping the baby happy, putting the baby to bed, and on and on.
None of the aforementioned people have kids, but I am very close to all of them. Have I really changed that much? Why can't they see that I'm doing the best that I can?? Or am I missing something?
It's not all bad. My relationship with M is stronger than it's ever been. I'm closer to mother-in-law than I ever thought I could be too. A friend that I lost touch with has come back into my life because of Evie. I just wish that those other people wouldn't take it personally that I'm not who I used to be.
Maybe I'm just whining. Maybe I'm not as good of a friend as I could be. I guess I'll try to work on that too.